How to Get Published. Seriously.

It has taken me a while to realize that what I write sounds different to me in my head than it does to someone else reading it on paper or on a monitor. One of the key things in writing is
knowing that the reader has no access to the pictures in your head except what you give them.
If you don't have a clear picture of your readership, you cannot write for anybody except yourself.
The only readership you have whose attention is relatively guaranteed is the set of editors to whom
you submit your work, therefore those are the people you really need to know. Forget about what you like, you do not know shit, write what they will like.

For literary magazines:
Self-conscious, slightly smug quirkiness is your most important asset. Real cleverness will not be understood by most of your editors,
instead what you have to try for is the pseudo-cleverness that 14 year-old girls can get. Think Chandler from Friends, think of him trying to seduce a middle-schooler with wit and charm.

Write adult themes but Hardy-Boy Style. Nothing gets you quick success like writing about rape and murder in simple terms.

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